Reluctant “expert”

33 years of fending off the black dog (Winston Churchill’s term) using a multitude of medications, therapies, hospitalizations, and novel approaches yet to be FDA approved has resulted in my becoming a de facto “expert.” Albeit, not a title I have aspired to or dreamt that would fall on my shoulders. After towels filled with tears, hours isolated under the covers and trying dutifully all that the professional, psychiatric world has to offer, I’d finally heard the answer to my most often lament, “Why me?? Why is this happening to me (again)” Neither God nor the universe answered. Until this year.

My current therapist often listened intently but sometimes open-mouthed, to the lengthy descriptions of my trials and successes. One afternoon session I heard the answer to my lament. “Would you be willing to come speak at my church?” Don’t run away yet! My site will not dwell upon or be focused toward religion, spirituality or higher powers. You believe in what you believe in and so will I. How does that sound? I was thrilled to hear her ask me and immediately blurted, “YES! I would love to!” There was the answer to the infinite number of times, in the midst of my darkest days, when I’d cried, “Why me?!”

Now, I knew that instead of being looked at as a problem to be solved/treated or a cluster of symptoms, here was someone seeing the positive way in which I could help someone else. Someone who is also hurting, frightened, sad but still hopeful for an end to their torment. Or at least a reprieve. My journey will be shared from the beginning until now in the hope that others who are suffering will find a supportive place, a listening ear, and a source of helpful information as well as hope. You will find all of these and more on my site. The distinct difference from many other depression blogs/sites, will be that I am a patient with a history of clinical depression andgeneralized anxiety but also a trained, experienced psychologist. Toomanydiagnoses (my username) encompasses not onldepression and anxiety, but also borderline pesonality disorder, and trauma survivor (rape). I am ready to share what I know of the mental health milieu (neighborhood) as well as learn from my followers. I am very much looking forward to hearing from my people! A cure is a wonderful ideal and more than anything, I dream of that happening, but until then, you have a home here at

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